Ten reasons why I really hate bicycles (and cyclists) in cities.

The following in this morning from an unidentified but  apparently pretty  disgruntled motorist who asked that we make his grievances widely known in the pages of World Streets.  So in the spirit of equal time and with no more ado, World Streets turns over the stage to him. Let’s listen to what he has to say:

Dear Editor,

I really hope you will print this letter.  The point of view of those who drive cars is not being taken into account by the public authorities as they start to flood our cities with bicycles all over the place. A bit of fairness please.   My reasons?

  1. Well, first of all, they were all supposed to be out of here by now. It is extremely  irritating that after all we have spent and done to make our cities safe for cars that they are still out there clogging  the streets. This is not right.
  2. The machines themselves are not modern. I personally find them ugly, weak, underpowered . . . effeminate if you will.
  3. They get in the way of our cars and make drivers like myself (all drivers that is) nervous. They distract us and cause accidents.  That costs us real money.
  4. If you can believe it, there are cities that are even starting to take away street space intended for cars and converting it to bike use. This is insane and reactionary. We cannot allow it to continue.
  5. They are even starting to take up perfectly good parking spaces. And yet we all know that plentiful (and preferably free)  car parking holds the key to the successful city.
  6. I do not like cyclists.  They always take the moral high ground. They are uppity. They do not know their place. I find them wanton, aggressive and threatening.  It is a source of relief that I am separated and protected from them by my car’s hard shell and speed.
  7. They are a menace to me when I am trying to walk the short distances I have to cover by foot once I have parked my car. They are very dangerous.
  8. They look like garbage. Have you ever seen thousands of bikes parked in some kind of public space?
  9. Fortunately the bike industry is small change in terms of its economic and political reach, so the day will go to cars. More cars.
  10. Finally, did you know this?  They don’t even pay taxes. Now that’s just not right.

Well, first of all, they were all supposed to be out of here by now. It is extremely irritating that after all we have spent and done to make our cities safe for cars that they are still out there clogging the streets. This is not right.

I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! I hope you are mad too and ready to do something about it. We need to get together and fight this menace.

Yours in battle,

(Unsigned)

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About the author:

This missive arrived this morning from a person who  refuses to identify himself; however he did attach  this photo for which we thank him warmly. In the meantime, we have a number of our international contacts who are searching to identify the photo, and readers will be kept up to date on progress as it happens. World Streets – 24/7. The Al Jazeera of sustainable transportation.

# # #

Do you have anything to say on this? Did we miss anything here? You are invited to comment, amend and complete this heartfelt cry from the heart.

The Editor

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4 responses to “Ten reasons why I really hate bicycles (and cyclists) in cities.

  1. Nick Peterson

    I’m confused, as it’s not April 1st. “It is a source of relief that I am separated and protected from them by my car’s hard shell and speed.” “…When I am trying to walk the short distances I have to cover by foot once I have parked my car.” “…Weak, underpowered…”

    C’mon…

  2. I was waiting for the punchline to reveal itself for the whole read. Although, it’s funnier that the letter is for real.

    My favourite: They don’t pay taxes. Get serious.

  3. Ian Perry UK

    Todays lead story in the Independent (UK newspaper) is on the increasing death toll of cyclists in the UK. This makes very sad reading, however, the investment that local councils need to make to rectify the problems with our streets are unlikely to occur soon…

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/save-our-cyclists-clamour-for-flood-of-avoidable-road-deaths-to-be-stemmed-2268135.html

    The Independent focuses on London and has printed a nine point plan of the London Cycling Campaign. Do “we” agree with their thinking? Do “we” understand what they mean, e.g. “Encourage less car use and more cycling”?

    Is technology (on lorries) the answer or even part of the solution?

    “Nine steps towards safer cycling
    The London Cycling Campaign, which promotes safer cycling in the capital, has produced a nine-point-plan for reducing the toll of death and injury among cyclists:
    * Enforce speed limits and clamp down on drivers who use mobile phones.
    * Crack down on hit-and-run drivers, who account for a large portion of serious road injuries.
    * Introduce 20mph speed limits in all built-up and shopping areas of Britain’s towns and cities.
    * Require all lorries to carry full safety equipment to help them avoid collisions with cyclists: six mirrors, sensors and safety guards.
    * Require organisations which run lorries and other large vehicles to provide their drivers with cyclist awareness training, as already practised in four London boroughs.
    * Include a “cycle awareness” section in the driving theory and practical tests
    * Allocate more road space to cycling, as has been done in The Netherlands and Denmark, among other places.
    * Provide all children with access to Bikeability cycle training, the current version of the Cycling Proficiency test
    * Encourage less car use and more. cycling so that, as in The Netherlands and Denmark, collision rates for cyclists are reduced.”

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